ping pong

feel like im ping ponging between happy and sad today.
the biggest thing thats pissing me off is that i cant seem to make anything happen. like plans that should really be falling into place by now but arent. time is slowly dragging by and nothing is making any progress.
its not my fault - its totally out of my hands - but everyone else is now holding me up and when it all goes wrong - im gonna be the one who looks like a mug.

interesting also how everything that goes wrong seems to be someone Else's fault. i think i need to work on that. without noticing it sometimes, i think we project emotions and attitudes onto those around us. my girlfriend always thinks theres something wrong, that i have some kind of a problem with her and that makes her feel unhappy. i have no problem with her what-so-ever. i love her to bits and being around her always makes me happy, but perhaps, if i have something on my mind, even right in the back of my mind, that gets projected out giving people this impression of unhappiness. so perhaps the reason everyone else seems to be getting on my nerves is actually my fault to begin with.

the weekends nearly here and i really need it. hopefully once friday nights out the way then i can relax - i have a feeling this weekend is going to be a good one.